Sunday, December 8, 2013

Darker than Ever

It is a somber time for me....

I am frozen as I consider the days to come. The Holidays have become commercial and vacant and I am lost in thought trying to pull myself from it. To reach outside of myself and recapture the joy of the season. There is nothing.. it is empty. If I had Money I am sure I could drug myself with shopping and packages so that I do not feel anything.

Am I sad... actually No..
The real truth is I just don't feel it.. I am mind numb to the trappings of the season.

 I tend to get gifts as I  can and with no true direction .. chaotic and beautiful with no rhyme nor reason . I don't like the commitment of having to return the favor of gifting or buying something for you because you got something for me.  As a matter of fact if I have thought of you and found something that I can afford  I don't expect a gift in return. If I give a gift it is truly a gift not a point scored... I give because I can.  And if I cant give a gift and you resent that.... then... I feel sorry for your pain but I will not make it right and live up to your unrealistic expectations. If I was wealthy  I would shower people with odds and ends of thoughtfulness.

I am not... so I do what I can without the help of money... and yet again this time comes round and I hold my breath..... Holding .. holding holding.... until I can exhale again...

 I fall for the darker side of the Holidays... the basic and barren.. somehow I find it extremely beautiful  the light that brightens the darkness..  it makes me feel alive.
I am happy.... and I find that extremely odd... how I find beauty in shadows... And how the one joy I find in the holidays is the illumination. The light in the dark... the spark in someones eye. The joy deep within that shines on the dullest day.

DEATH ROW DESIGNS -  Legpouch - fully loaded GACHA ARCADE RARE

Christmas .. is the celebration of the baby Jesus and it has split itself like a pregnant belly spilling out guts gore and deep inside the mess you find life.... fighting to breath amongst the pain..... and death of an idea that has become perverse...

I look past it all with eyes filled with magic and seek the illumination.

Just so you know... Poses are often the forgotten thing to mention during a blog and these fab poses are brought  to you by.. DIESEL WORKS .. I have often used his poses for my blogs and will continue to do so because there is always a sense of art and sexy...  Also of note is he has great male poses and couple poses...

For years I have been blogging Gos shoes from the playful looks to the elegant. Yet again I find his shoes to be in my favorites. And I always need the fat-pack. But now that he has the Color+ system you can add each shoe to the color pallet and make your signature look and color splash.. Today.. I am fully defined by Black.. thanks yet again GOS for some fabulously fitting shoes with impeccable skin color matching

May you find the light in your holidays... and forget the trappings of false giftwrap.. Wrap yourself in the arms of your beloved and breath.. and if you have no one then wrap your own arms about yourself and sigh  as you look to the stars... and Live for whats real.

eXxEsS : LADA - Hair
 EPIC *Epic Boobies* Slasher Suit
[Gos] Bordello - Bonnie - Collection
*HolliPocket* Holy Holly Garter
Izzie's - Leather Belt black  *older item* available in store
Izzie's - Bow Waist Belt black *older item* available in store
RO - Remarkable Oblivion - Bullet F****** Belt *available in main store location*
RO - Remarkable Oblivion - Paragon Cap - Forever Black
drd -  Death Row Designs -  Armor - bluemetal
Diesel Works - Erotique Female Poses
*MUKA* Garter Love -(PhatAzz) *2nd post on it because its matchy & colorchangable*
DEATH ROW DESIGNS -  Legpouch - fully loaded GACHA ARCADE RARE

[Gos] Bordello - Bonnie - Collection

COMING SOON - SQUISHY POLKADOTS - *?????To be named?????* - KneePads

DEATH ROW DESIGNS -  Legpouch - fully loaded GACHA ARCADE RARE